She is asleep.
Me: Hey, time to get up. Do you want a dress or pants today?
She opens her eyes and doesn't move.
V: Where is my clay? I want to read the doctor story, how come you didn't read the doctor story?
She is currently obsessed with the book, What Do People Do All Day?. Last night I read up through "Firemen to the Rescue" and she was fast asleep. I even poked her to make sure. The next story is "A Visit to the Hospital."
Me: You were asleep. We'll read it tonight. Here's a good dress. Do you need to go to the bathroom?
V: I NEED to READ the DOCTOR story!
Me: Ok, I can read one quick story.
I turn to the doctor story, she grabs the book.
V: No, this one instead.
Me: You want me to read "Everyone is a Worker" instead of "A Visit to the Hospital?"
V: Yes
I read the first story in the book. I shut the book. She wails.
V: Nooooo! I want to read TO the doctor story!
Me: Listen, we don't have time. I have to get to work. Let's go.
V: Waaaaaaaaa ....
She continues to yell unintelligibly as I take off her pjs and put on her clothes. I stomp downstairs and get all of our junk together. I brush my teeth. She comes downstairs, crying.
Me: Let me brush your hair and we can go.
V: I want the little chocolate chip cookies in my lunch.
Me: Super. That's what I did put in your lunch.
I brush her hair. We move to the kitchen, gathering stuff to go out to the car. I am supposed to be at work in 10 minutes, which is hopeless. But I was SO CLOSE! And then...
V: How many cookies did you put in my lunch?
Me: Six.
V: I wanted more.
Me: No, I've already packed everything. We're leaving.
V: No! I want more cookies! Waaaaa .....
I grab the big tub of cookies from the cupboard and slam it on the table. I yell in a very mean voice.
Me: FINE! Take all of them! Let's go!
She cries very loudly. I herd her out the door and into the car. She is screaming/crying.
V: I want ONE COOKIE. I want ONE COOKIE. I want ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE.
Me: You need to put your seatbelt on.
V: I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE.
Me: If you don't put your seatbelt on, I will put it on for you. We need to go.
V: I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE. I WANT ONE COOKIE.
I start to buckle her into the seat. She pushes me away and screams even louder.
V: I WILL DO IT. I WILL DO IT. I WILL DO IT. I WILL DO IT.
She does not do it. I do it.
V: AAAAAHH!!! I WANTED TO DO IT! I WANTED TO DO IT!
I start the car and turn around. She shrieks hysterically now.
V: I WANT ALL OF THEM. GO BACK! GET THE COOKIES! I WANT ALL OF THEM!
She screams about the cookies all the way down Carroll Avenue. I mean, she is screaming so loudly that her voice is trembling. It's making me squint. Since my window is stuck half-down, everyone at each bus stop feels compelled look in my car. Finally, she notices that I haven't said anything.
V: ANSWER ME! MOM! MOM!!! ANSWER ME! YOU HAVE TO TALK! MOM!
Me: I will talk to you when you stop shouting and speak reasonably.
She quiets immediately. She uses a regular speaking voice now.
V: Mom. I would like all of the cookies.
Me: That was a bad idea I had when I was angry. We're not bringing all of the cookies to Ms Salim's.
V: When you drop me off, you can go back and get them.
Me: No, when I drop you off I am going to work.
V: WAAAAH! I WANT ALL THE COOKIES! I WANT ALL OF THEM! I WANT ALL OF THEM!
I get to the babysitter's, remove the screaming 4yo from my car and walk her into the house. I race back to the car and enjoy my chilly, breezy, but quiet ride to work.
