Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Death by a thousand cuts


I realized last week that when I was trying to coordinate my London trip with Brian's travel plans, I was off by a week. I told him about it on Friday and he was pretty mad. I should be the angry one--I think that I have to can the trip and forfeit the ticket, which is both a disappointment and a painful fee. I would consider it a screw-up and move on, but Brian had to remonstrate, "You always fuck up everything. You think it's cute to be the absent-minded professor and not pay attention and then everyone else has to pick up after you."

Ow. I have sorta resigned myself to the fact that I am very disorganized, but I manage to fake my way through lots of stuff and I'm absolutely sure that I do not always fuck up everything. And I don't find it cute and I can't think of a way to make it cute. It is inconvenient and embarrassing and annoying, none of which are cute. Take today, for example. Everything crappy that follows is a result of my lack of planning, foresight, or attention.

The MD Motor Vehicle Administration discovered that my car insurance lapsed for two months earlier this year. My fault, I paid the premium late. Yes, two months late. My old agent (same company) just postdated everything when this happened--many times--and I got spoiled. I mean, why wouldn't State Farm want to take my money for two claim-free months in the past? Maybe it's illegal, I don't know. Anyway, the MVA fined me $150 for the uninsured period and something went wrong each of the four times I tried to pay over the phone. I stopped trying. They sent me a note to let me know that my registration was suspended, so I figured I'd just go in person and straighten the whole thing out this morning. I was going to leave work early anyway because Victoria had a doctor's appointment, so I took the whole day off instead. It took from 9:30 to 12:40 to pay the fine and renew my registration. Just over three hours and the place wasn't even crowded. Oh, I was in a super mood as I hurried back to the doctor's office.

The appointment was for 1-something. I thought it was 1:30, but I had written it down on my desk at work and expected to see it this morning. But I didn't go to work, see, so it could have been 1:00. If it was 1:30, I would have time to drop off the pants Christopher wanted drycleaned for homecoming next weekend. So I called the doctor's office from the MVA to ask. Yeah, well, I missed the appointment, which was for 11:30. The office closes at 1pm on Mondays. So I rescheduled (next Tuesday at 11:30, in case I wonder later), cursed silently, and drove to the music store to get Victoria's violin.

Or not. They didn't have any 1/10-size in stock and deliveries are on Monday, so she'll have another week of no-violin violin lessons. FINE. The teacher wanted me to rent a regular violin to practice along with Victoria (a Suzuki thing, but I like it); however, I am going to borrow ednoria's instead if I remember to ask her.

I dropped off the pants without incident. Stopped by the house for an hour to try to get Victoria to rest. Hah! She was in no mood to rest. Then we went to choir practice, followed by soccer at the YMCA.

I noticed a sign at the Y: Try kinder-soccer, first session free! The sessions were scheduled right after choir practice, which is just up the street. Normally, 4:30 would be too early for my work schedule, but I have to take leave anyway to get her to choir, so why not? She tried it last week and it was great. So after last week's class, I went to the front desk and signed her up. Paid $58. Seemed high to me, but the coach was great, the kids had fun, whatever. Right. So this week they had fun again. And then at the end everyone got a swell "thanks for participating" ribbon because IT WAS THE FINAL SESSION.

Still cursing silently, I asked Victoria if she wanted to go out to eat. We had an hour before the violin class (which started out on Thursday but was switched to Monday starting today) and technically we could have gone home to get food, but I was pretty sure something would go wrong if we tried that. She suggested the crab place, which is about 40 minutes away. I said that wasn't very practical, so she countered with Tastee Diner, which I hate. She goes there with Brian; I have no idea why he likes it but he does. So we went to Tastee Diner. She had a bowl of plain noodles. I had bad soup and horrible salad.

We made it to the violin lesson. I remembered to bring our book, and it was good that I did--it is, of course, the wrong book. No wonder the lessons don't match what she'd given us.

Came home and checked on the status of my passport application--just for yucks. Anyone who has bothered to read this far knows what happens next: the application has not been entered into the system. There's no status to report. The check hasn't cleared my bank. Victoria's sleeping upstairs; I could curse as loud as I'd care to but I don't care to. I don't care.

One day! Really, only about 12 hours! Blech.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 25th, 2005 03:36 am (UTC)
wow, I am so sorry. It was just one thing after another, wasn't it.

I think it was really irresponsible of the Y to not inform you that there were only a few more sessions. I would have been really pissed about that.
Oct. 25th, 2005 03:51 am (UTC)
Their gym & pool people (who man the desk) don't seem too coordinated with the kids' programs people. I doubt they realized what was going on. I'll be really pissed if we can't figure out an equitable arrangement, but I think we can work something out. It was a hell of a day, especially with Brian's very unkind words following me around everywhere. I just keep telling myself, "It could be worse." It's true, sure, but even so ...
Oct. 25th, 2005 04:30 am (UTC)
yes, his words were very unkind and untrue, especially from someone who once let Victoria spill lighter fluid on her feet while playing in the yard and had no idea how it happened (I think I am remembering that incident correctly, it drives my Brian nuts the way I remember things...). I know we have only ever talked on line, but I have never had the impression you were absent minded, really quite the reverse.
Oct. 25th, 2005 04:58 am (UTC)
Your memory is flawless regarding the lighter fluid! It's a good thing our kids are hardy types; lucky for all of us. Thanks, I'm glad to know I seem competent (or at least alert) onscreen.
Oct. 25th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC)
too lazy to change my login name. Yes, I am lucky to have strong kids as well--one morning I was lazing in bed when Ivy got up, she was barely walking at the time and I thought, I should get up, when I sort of dozed off. Next thing I heard a thump, and a sort of cry. She was at the bottom of the stairs, completely unhurt, she must have bounced down. We didn't even have carpet, bare wooden stairs. I felt like the worst mom ever. At least she was okay.
Oct. 25th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
Wow. That's what I call a really rotten day. And nomatter how much is your fault, I believe Brian may have read his job description wrong if he thinks he's there to twist the knife & make you feel worse in such an egregious manner. Hang in there! Remember, you are the woman who created the sheet of Henson stamps that the USPS forgot to make!
Oct. 25th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
What a rotten day. I am really sorry. Of course you are welcome to my violin -- but the bow does need to be restrung. I think everything else is in ok shape. We can check it out Wednesday, if you make it.

I know it's well-nigh impossible to forget unkind words like that, especially coming from a spouse. But my gosh, you've raised (or are raising) three kids who have come out ok, and you've done it without Brian around for a good portion of the time. So who's picking up after whom?

Here's hoping today is way WAY better.
Oct. 25th, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)
Firstly, *hugs*, and sorry it's been One Of Those Days.

Secondly, Brian is being decidedly unfair, and has no right to say things like that.

Hope things improve.
Oct. 25th, 2005 12:48 pm (UTC)
What a day! So sorry about it for you.

I do want to say that I agree completely with what whimmydiddle said above about Brian not really understanding his job description. It seems to me that it was a mistake, a costly one, and certainly one that you feel bad about. His job at that point was most likely to support you or to commiserate about the fact that you won't be able to go to England and hang out with him there. (Sometimes, we all just want to hear, "Oh crap. That must really suck. Let's figure something out.") Making you feel bad and venting his own frustration out on you is uncalled for in my book.

Two things: Gailes Violin Shop restrings bows (and Bill Gailes is very nice) 301-474-4300, 10013 rhode island ave. College Park.

If you haven't already done so, the best place to get a quick passport (I've used them before and it was quite easy):
Washington, DC Passport Office Information

Public Hours of Operation
By Appointment Only
8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.
Monday through Friday (except Federal holidays)
Public Telephone Number
(Automated appointment line and general recorded information available 24 hours/7 days)
1111 19th Street, N.W.
First Floor, Sidewalk Level
Washington, DC 20036
Oct. 25th, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)
Wow! I'm sorry you had such a crappy day. Reading about what all you had to get accomplished makes my head spin. I'm completely serious when I say I admire you. I think you're a wonderful person and I have every reason to believe you're a great mom.

Re: spouses. It must be in the water or a phase of the moon or SOMETHING, b/c my man and I had a whopper of a disagreement last Wednesday. We did end up talking through it, though, and things have calmed down. We're going out to dinner and a movie (Wallace and Gromit) tonight, so we'll see how that goes.
Oct. 25th, 2005 03:13 pm (UTC)
As another disorganized and absent-minded person, who has also felt the undeserved barbs of a callous mate (thank god that bitch is gone), you've got all my sympathy.

You have good days, too. You'll have more of them, just not yesterday. The bad ones... just get through them.
Oct. 25th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Hon, but now you're stuck with another bitch! :-)
Oct. 25th, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC)
(Yes, I noticed the smiley...)

Hmmm, calling that particularly inSANE ex a bitch is probably an insult to bitchy people. :-)
Oct. 25th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
It must be something in the water. Oh, how I can relate.
Oct. 27th, 2005 06:33 am (UTC)

"You always ..." -- what's up his butt? Usually when Joe says "You always ..." it means his resposne is totally out of proportion to the offense, but he feels like being pissed off. Bad timing on Brian's part, eh?

I'm reading LIFO, so I know you survived this dreadful day.

And like lavidamd, I totally admire you, especially the parenting part.

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )