Everyone knows I am not too good at games, but they assume I play chess anyway. "Oh, you're so tall--you must have played chess in high school! No?" No.

I did start one game of team chess once. Two on two, with the stipulation that all communication with your partner must be of a disparaging nature while all conversation across the board consists of elaborate flattery. It was fun while it lasted, but the microwave dinged and we quickly lost ourselves in burrito joy.

Sure, I flossed. Thanks for caring.