koralleen (koralleen) wrote,

Why sometimes I am late for work

Yesterday morning, Victoria’s babysitter was in a mood. I took off Victoria’s shoes and asked, “How are things?”

Ugh. Yesterday I was cleaning this house and I just sat down right there and thought, “What the hell am I doing in this bloody place?”

Where would you rather be?

There was a long pause and she sighed.

I want to go home. To my home.

I didn't say anything right away. Her home was British Guiana and it is no longer available as a destination. “Is it still a good home for you there?” was the most cautious phrasing I could come up with.

Oh, it is so beautiful there. And the people are good and they work. And you have your land and your house. When Alia visited, she cried when she had to come back here. You do not know.

You’re right about that. I was born right here and I’ve never lived anywhere else. I like it, but I don’t know how it is to live anywhere else.

This place. People are so lazy and greedy. What is there to like? Maybe if I came here from nothing, but I come from education. I come from property. I come from a fine family. You know, when Hali was little she brought home this form for me to fill out for school. Questions like “What have you accomplished since you came here?” “What have you learned?” I was so angry! They wanted to see people who came up from nothing, “Oh now I have a job and a home and la la la…” Well I put down exactly what I thought. I gave that teacher a piece of my mind. Hali took it to school and she got a 99 on that paper.

A 99! That’s something good about this country. Aren’t you glad you don’t live in a place where Hali might have turned in a paper like that and come home with her hands cut off?

I got her most baleful glare.

This country could use some decent punishments. Everybody gets away with everything here. I can tell you they would have hanged that Scott Peterson’s ass well before now if we were home!

Things actually went downhill fast from there. She has some really ugly thoughts and doesn’t mind sharing them with me. Anyway, it took a while before we reached a good stopping point. I skipped lunch to make up for being tardy and she was feeling better by the afternoon when I came to get Victoria.

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