The bank Brian worked for always gave him a weekday off, since just about all the tellers had to work on Saturday. Actually, this was so long ago that it wasn't a bank; it was a savings & loan. As he left one Monday, he said, "I have tomorrow off. Do you want to get married?" I said ok.
After class, I went to Minnesota Fabrics (I told you it was long ago) and got some tan linen on sale for a dress. I figured I should wear a dress. After work, I made the thing. When it was done, it looked mighty plain and brown. I figured if I could draw a blue elephant's head on the front I would look like I was wearing a big sack from Jumbo. (How I miss that elephant! Today's grocery logos lack character.) But I left it unadorned and got married looking like a tree wrapped for frost protection.
That evening we called our parents to see if they wanted to come along. Brian's mom asked if it was an April Fool's joke, but both of his parents showed up at the courthouse. My mom came, too, but my dad had a previous engagement. The five of us found the right clerk. She was puffing away on a skinny brown cigarette. (Inside! Inside a government building! This was SO long ago!) I said, "Hi. We're here to get married?" She just stared at us for about ten seconds and then said, "Um, I'm on break?"
So we each took a step back and looked around idly for few minutes until she stubbed out the little cigarette, picked up a couple of cards, and motioned for us to follow her into a room. Brian and I read our lines off the cards--he stumbled over the word lawfully so I believe technically he agreed to be "waffle-y" wed--and that was that. Then we all went to Chesapeake Bay Seafood House (I loved the jingle for that restaurant: Chesapeake Bay Seafood House! Get all the seafood you can eat!) and the parents tired of watching us get all the seafood we could eat. They went home. The restaurant closed between lunch and dinner, but we stayed and they just vacuumed around us. Of course we did leave eventually.
No one really knows why, but the marriage has outlasted savings & loans, Minnesota Fabric and Jumbo Food stores, and Chesapeake Bay Seafood House. Oh, and indoor smoking. So there.