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Dreading Home Depot

This morning my babysitter requested (and I use the term lightly) a lift to Home Depot later today. I would be a jerk to say no; I did not say no. But I HATE everything about this trip and have been dreading it all day. I just wanted to go to the libraries (somehow we became beholden to two branches in the recent past, time to consolidate) and go home and dogsit and chill.

Instead we have to deal with the line (there is always a line) at the return counter (she always has a return) and then find everything slightly wrong on her list (she always makes a list from which to deviate) or NOT find it, which is much, much worse. That means we have to hunt down a person in an orange apron and ask for the--here we move our hands around in an approximation of the object's size and shape while inchoately describing its function. This person will nod and hold a finger up, indicating that we should follow. We follow until we reach another orange-aproned person and now the three of us perform the object-seeking ritual. Occasionally, we end up finding the object. If we're lucky as hell, it will have a scannable barcode--the next hurdle is to pay for the items and that requires using the self-serve counters. No one mans a cash register at Home Depot anymore, although a benighted individual is usually floating about to gaze in wonder at stations where "assistance" has been requested.

Oh, look! Time to go. Hooray.

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Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
kosmicseer
May. 16th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
If your babysitter does not drive or have transportation available--what would happen in a time-sensitive child emergency?
whimmydiddle
May. 16th, 2006 09:39 pm (UTC)
What the hell did that little orange kitten DO???
koralleen
May. 17th, 2006 01:45 am (UTC)
The only time-sensitive child emergencies I can think of are medical ones. She would call 911 and then call me. Fortunately, we live blocks from a hospital.

Did you have a different type of emergency in mind?

What would she do differently if she did drive or have transportation available? When my older daughter fell on the playground at school in 3rd grade and dislocated her elbow the school nurse called an ambulance and then called me. We all met at the hospital but I had to get my boss to drive me because I didn't have a car (different house and further-away hospital).
kosmicseer
May. 17th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC)
No-I was thinking of bloody-type emergencies needing stitches or head injuries or tummy aches(appendixes?)...

An ambulance can always be called, but a car on the premises is quicker.
whimmydiddle
May. 18th, 2006 05:18 am (UTC)
Actually, my mother was once recovering from injuries from a car accident, including facial injuries. One evening a few days after she got home from the hospital for no apparent reason her nose started gushing blood. An alarming amount. No way could she do anything but frantically reach for towels & try futiley to stop the flow. Thank goodness I was there. At first she wanted me to look up the number for her doctor, but it became clear that she might drown in her own blood by the time she got any help, what with me flipping through the phone book. So I dragged her to my car & rushed her to the hospital a mile away.

In the emergency room the staff admonished me that in such circumstances I should always call 911, because it's the surest way to get help the soonest.
koralleen
May. 18th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
That makes sense, as the ambulance gets to use the special entrance and you get your preliminary assessment on the ride in rather than at the emergency room intake (a spot with which I am far too familiar--it is best avoided).

Also, my babysitter watches several children. Her license allows up to eight, although with varying schedules she tends to have about five kids at a time. Even if she had a van at the ready (with eight appropriate seats correctly installed), I wouldn't want her driving my kid to the hospital with all those distractions plus Victoria. And what would she do with them in the emergency room?
whimmydiddle
May. 16th, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC)
Oh DO NOT GET ME STARTED about those "self serve" checkouts! The ones at Giant proove that it can be done right. The ones at Shopper's Food Warehouse and Home Despot, on the other hand, are clearly from the same low-bidder self-checkout manufacturer, and they make me throw things.

Me: Scan item
Machine: Beep!
Me: Places item on bagging platform.
Machine: There is an unexpected item on the bagging platform. Please remove the unexpected item.
Me: Grrr. Remove item.
Machine: Please place your item on the bagging platform.
Me: GRRRR. Places item back on bagging platform.

This occurs for every single item, sometimes multiple times per item. I bring my own grocery bags--if I place one of my canvas grocery bags on the bagging platform before putting the first scanned item on the platform, instead of with the first scanned item, of course that throws the machine into error loop number 849b. And if I have the nerve to take my purse off my shoulder and put it on any surface other than the floor, all hell breaks loose. At Home Depot I often have only one or two items, and sometimes put up with it. But at the grocery store, with a week's worth of food in my cart, I don't care how long the line is at the only register manned by a human being, I REFUSE to use those machines!

koralleen
May. 17th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC)
Well, I was going to promise to not get you started, but I think I missed my cue!
whimmydiddle
May. 17th, 2006 02:29 am (UTC)
Worse than potato vines, I tell you!!!
kosmicseer
May. 17th, 2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
Yeah- I hate self-serve check outs also. I have the exact same experience you describe.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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