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The high price of fashion

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But my current fashion price trouble comes from a jacket I am wearing. I got it from the closet in the dining room when the weather turned brisk and I like it just fine. Usually my clothes run on the plain side, but this jacket is kinda showy, with sleeves that contrast from the body and a huge pirate applique grimacing on the back. Therein lies the problem. People see the jacket and they ask, "Are you a pirates fan?" At least, that's what I hear. I truthfully answer that indeed I am a fan of pirates, Somalian cruise-disruptors notwithstanding, and then it turns out that these people want to talk about a baseball team. My ability to converse along these lines is quite limited. I'm stuck, though, at least for another month. I do have another jacket, but I left it at the dentist's office in April. It was one of those days when you wear a jacket out of habit rather than necessity and I put it on a hook by the door and forgot to pick it up on the way out. I thought it was gone for good. But no: I went back to the dentist last month and as I was walking out I saw my jacket hanging (on a different hook). Why didn't I pick it up? I do not know! If it's still there when I return to get my crown fixed, the one I keep snapping in half, maybe I will retrieve it. I hope so. My troubles dealing with eye-catching garb have been temporarily alleviated by the loss of my voice. I have a very mild sore throat, but my voice sounds like I am gargling pea gravel. No one wants me to talk to them and that is ok by me.
A while ago I signed up for email updates to a catalog for tall women's clothing. I should unsubscribe but I am fascinated to see hints every so often of a life very foreign to me, a plane of being where people will pay hundreds of dollars for a dress. A dress that doesn't even look good on a model! I always check their "sale" section and that's always good for a laugh. Why bother making shorts for tall sizes? Shorts are short, I can deal with shorts from anywhere. Unless they're orange and hideous and $99, on sale. Astounding.

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