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unsolicited advice, plenty of buts

to Target shoppers (of the past month): register a fraud alert with one of the credit reporting agencies (I think Experian's is the easiest). I was thinking about getting a new number issued, but my only card is with Discover and I know they're pretty vigilant.

to museum-goers: Did you know you are a tiny piece of the population? I recently learned that fewer than half the nation had ever visited even one museum in their lifetime! The same six percent of us keep visiting all the museums. Weird. You'd thing we'd start recognizing each other. Anyway... the Smithsonian just added the video game Flower to their permanent collection and I could not be happier. I saw it for the first time at the Museum of American Art on one of the final days of a traveling exhibit. It's gorgeous. Play it! They added Halo 2600 as well.

to the crowd of old people: I am in you. One semester in grad school and I feel like an absolute fogey. These darned kids don't read the directions or use spell-check and they think using Google Docs means they're collaborating. But they're so CUTE! I made it this far without pinching even one cheek, but I don't know how long I can hold out. My advice is to shuffle along with them—they're not all that fast, you can do it—because their toys are super-fun.

to the drinkers: Hot Rum Cow. The brutal DUN DUN DUN of three-letter-words pulls you in. The magnificence of, well, a beverage consisting primarily of rum (I messed with the proportions) keeps you in its thrall. Not to mention the fact that one of the best knock-knock jokes does involve cows. But I digress.

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